


Monkey in Women's Clothes

by ch19777



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-26
Updated: 2009-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 17:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ch19777/pseuds/ch19777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since all the cool kids are apparently doing it... My version of the iPod challenge. The title is just me being silly and shouldn't stop you from reading.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monkey in Women's Clothes

**Author's Note:**

> I did this just for fun, but now that it's written, I can just as well post it. I thought I'd end up with 10 fluffy Jisbon pieces, but my subconscious mind had other plans. 

**1\. Androgyny - Garbage**

"Don't flinch." Lisbon instructs him, before beginning to put lipstick on his mouth.

The creamy substance isn't the worst part of his masquerade, he discovers with surprise. It makes his lips feel nicely smooth. His male ego should probably be insulted when Van Pelt compliments him on how great his legs look in tights, but instead he is a little pleased that he pulls off his assigned role so well.

Rigsby would look ridiculous with makeup and in a dress, he is sure of that. And Jane? No, he'd just be himself and therefore would be unable to appear ladylike enough for the task.

When he spots Rigsby entering the office, he decides to put his new look to the test. Tottering in the direction of his colleague, he sticks his padded bosom toward him and lasciviously flutters his fake eyelashes.

"Who's the babe?" He hears Rigsby murmur when he's past him, and a slight grin curls his Barbie pink lips.

**2\. Your Spain - The White Birch**

She took the razor blade from his shaky hand and helped him up. She led him into her home and into her bedroom and tucked him in. He didn't sleep, but listened to her breathing and the rustling of sheets in the next room.

Before dawn she slipped under the covers with him to rest her sleepy head on his chest. She didn't stop him when his hand slid under her shirt.

When she climaxed and bit his earlobe, the pain was a welcome reminder that he was still alive.

**3\. Apeman - The Format**

"What are you doing?" Lisbon hisses, nervously looking over her shoulder. "Dr. Stutzer can be back any second."

"That's why we need to be fast." He reasons illogically and proceeds to pick the lock of the cage.

She is speechless and unable to move when the chimp jumps into Jane's arms the second her prison door opens.

"See, she loves me." He beams.

"That's only because you have a banana." She mutters, earning her raised eyebrows and one of his cheeky smiles.

"You can't steal a monkey from a research facility." She protests, but follows him out of the room and the building anyway.

Maybe having a pet will be good for him, she thinks as Jane buys ice cream cones at the next corner for all three of them. As she watches her two companions indulge in their ice cream, she wonders if it would be mean to point out to Jane that he and the chimp use the exact same licking & nibbling technique.

**4\. Talk To You - Anthony Stewart Head**

Hearing her voice once a month is the only purpose of his life anymore. Every time, before picking up the phone, he is determined to tell her that he still misses her terribly after all those years. But month after month they fill the silence between them with unimportant small talk and he not once asks her why she never visits him or if she is truly happy with her husband.

When the guard leads him back to his cell, he fails miserably to convince himself that killing Red John was worth it to lead a life clad in orange jumpsuits with nobody around to tease him that orange isn't his color.

**5\. Mad About You - Hooverphonic**

A glass of water combined with Jane's habit of annoying suspects is enough to make Teresa Lisbon's day brighter. Watching him take off his soaked shirt, she makes a mental note to from now on provide each and every suspect with a large drink when Jane is interrogating them.

Letting her imagination run wild, she imagines him in her bedroom where he continues his striptease solely for her pleasure. She licks her lips, thinking about the amazing things she could do with his body.

It feels like a cold shower when he takes a new shirt out of his desk drawer and puts it on. Spare clothes in his desk? Spoilsport.

For revenge, she should 'accidentally' spill coffee on his pants later.

**6\. Malibu - Hole**

Since arriving at the crime scene in Malibu, Lisbon flashed her badge at more blonde girls in bikinis than Jane is able to keep track of. He can tell that she feels intimidated by all the tanned, curvy beach babes surrounding them, but he doesn't understand why she feels so insecure.

Sure, she looks a little out of place in her dark pants and shirt, but for him that isn't what makes her stand out. The presence of all the shallow, hedonistic people accentuates her alluring uniqueness. A stiff breeze from the sea ruffles her billowy hair and her belligerent green eyes outstrip the beauty of the wuthering ocean.

"You look like a sophisticated, dark-haired Malibu Barbie with a gun." He states, matter-of-factly. Locking her emerald eyes with his blue ones, she frowns.

Really, he meant it as a compliment.

**7\. Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie**

He isn't in love with her, so she doesn't need him anyway. And that he made fun of her in front of all her classmates is really not big a deal, Teresa tells herself.

For a split second she manages to convince herself that she hates him. As soon as she realizes that this unfamiliar feeling deep inside of her isn't hate, but the cruel burning of unrequited love, she loses it. She is trembling uncontrollably before her mind even grasps what exactly is happening with her.

But then her little brother walks toward her, his eyes behind his thick glasses filled with anxiety and his fragile shape looking as if he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders.

No, she can't allow herself the luxury of wallowing in self-pity.

**8\. Mr. Brightside - Amy Macdonald (cover of the song by The Killers)**

She came to bring him some papers and stayed to shower his body with kisses. Kimball Cho's bed feels empty after she called a cab to drive home to her boyfriend. The air is still imbued with her intoxicating scent. Did she buy the perfume herself or was it a gift? Against his will, his mind fills with images of the other guy's hands on her skin. He feels nauseous and wonders if she has the same aversion to have sex with her boyfriend after tonight.

Tomorrow he will go to work like on any ordinary day and pretend to have no feelings at all. The sharp pain surprises him when his fist hits the wall. He decides to take a walk to flee from her omnipotent presence in his apartment and is stunned to find her on the other side when he opens the door.

"I just couldn't leave." Grace whispers, wrapping her slender body around him.

**9\. Pure Morning - Placebo**

He is such an idiot. Teresa always knew that the day would inevitably come, but she also thought she would have enough time to change Jane's thought process. Slowly she reaches for her gun. Jane's red-rimmed eyes beg her to leave, to turn her back on him and let him do what he thinks he needs to do.

Red John is unarmed and, at first glance, Jane with the knife in his hand has the upper hand. But his life, and her life with him, will be over if she allows him to kill tonight and Red John will be superior in all eternity.

She knows that her badge won't fully protect her afterwards, but at least it gives her more authorization to play God than Jane will ever have.

The sound of two shots breaks the oppressive silence.

**10\. Insight - Depeche Mode**

"Do you believe in God?" A strange voice asks him.

Patrick looks up at the priest, feeling a little guilty that not the urge for prayer let him to the church, but the need to find a quite place for analyzing if the latest fight with his wife was bad enough to want a divorce.

"It's okay, if you don't." The men reassures him. "I guess you came here hoping to find inspiration or answers to the questions that torment you? All the time I see people praying for the things they want instead of working for them. They beg for forgiveness if they did something wrong, only to sin again since it was so easy to get rid of the guilty feelings. Let me offer you an advice: Just listen to what your heart tells you and act on it."

His heart tells him to go home and let Teresa know that he didn't mean it when he said he hated her.


End file.
